Some Tips to Remember When Helping Your Student with Difficulties on Campus
The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) may not allow us to share what you think we have to share with you.
Your son or daughter may not have told you the entire story. Sometimes students just need to complain, and it is not a call for action. Discern the difference between their need for you to listen and affirm, and a true need for help in solving a problem.
With policy violations and discipline incidents, etc., we cannot be both an investigator and an advocate. We have to find out the other side of the story. Ask yourself what you would want us to do if your child were being accused.
It is good to know what actions your child has already taken to try and solve things. Parents should enoucrage students to take steps first, and let them know that calling Mom, who then calls the Chancellor, is rushing things a bit. Residence life staff are always more impressed when a student can rattle off the three or four things they've already tried.
Look at the situation through the eyes of your child. What may be a big concern for you may not be a concern at all for your child. The university will respond to your child's concerns. This plays out in Housing, for example, when a parent calls about not wanting their child living with a gay/international/minority student. Often when we talk with the student, it's not a big deal.
The university is a very big place, often times even within departments. We may not know enough details at the time of an initial call to appropriately respond.
Sometimes parents and Housing will disagree.
Working with staff to achieve a solution generally works better than demanding a specific outcome. Situations that you call about are also part of a student's education, and education is usually process driven. Getting what you want by demand, threat and outburst likely teaches students to get what they want by demand, threat and outburst. Is that the lesson you want to teach as an advocate for your child?